18 September 2009
I see these types of things passed around the internet all the time, almost always attributed to someone unlikely to think this way. So, in response to one that was recently passed to me, I’ve decided to modify it to fit my own character.
I have not decided to run as a write-in candidate for the 2012 Presidential elections. However, if you want me to fix this debacle, feel free to write me in anyway.
Here is my platform:
(1) Language - Use of the Phrase PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH does not offend me. If anyone in the private sector wished to use it, that should be their choice. However, it should not be a part of any government agency. PRESS 1 FOR SPANISH or PRESS 2 FOR FRENCH or PRESS 3 FOR GERMAN are fine with me, as all government phone menus would be in English, which is the official language of the US federal government.
(2) Isolationism - There will be no isolationist attitude in a government run by me. All imports from anywhere in the world will have no import tariff at all. This is called free trade. The only thing that will alter this policy is any country that refuses to extend to us the same courtesy. If they apply an import tariff on American products coming into their country, we will simply not allow their products into the
(3) Illegal Aliens - Anyone caught in this country illegally will be immediately deported. No exceptions. If the deportee has any assets, they will be seized and forfeited to cover the expenses. The security of the southern border of the
(4) Social Security - Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't contribute into it, you will get nothing out of it. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it. In fact, they will now be a part of it, too, eliminating the life-long governmental “golden parachutes” they are currently enjoying.
(5) Welfare – Welfare will be a temporary hand-up, no longer a long-term hand-out. The government cannot afford to support you for years on end. This is your responsibility to yourself and your family. If you cannot or will not do this, you will need to seek assistance from family, friends, or other private sector institutions like churches and charities. It is not the responsibility of the taxpayers who have nothing to do with your situation.
(6) Professional Athletes - Steroids? Banned substances? Who cares. The government has better things to do than hold hearings on people who cheat at sports. Shame on them for cheating, but the government will not step in and do whatever their league officials should be doing.
(7) Crime & Punishment – There will be no more “namby-pamby” approach to crime and punishment. All crimes will have specific punishments. There will be no more plea bargaining, judges discretion, or early release for good behavior. If you commit a crime, you pay the penalty. Period. No one in the
(8) Foreign Aid - All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease and the money saved will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether or not it's a worthy cause.
(9) The Pledge of Allegiance – The Pledge of Allegiance will be recited every day in every public school classroom in the
(10) The National Anthem – This will be played at the opening of all governmental ceremonies. If private sector events such as sporting events wish to do the same, that is their choice.
(11) Term Limits – All elected positions in the federal government will be limited to two terms in a lifetime, just like the President is now. At the end of those terms, the officials will be thanked for their service to the nation, and sent back home to live under the laws they’ve enacted.
I will not apologize for stepping on anyone’s toes or offending anyone with these ideals. They are my opinions on how things should work. If you don’t agree with them, feel free to continue voting for the status quo.
